


Sleepless Night

by minhoinator



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Weddings, based on a song(s), side jongtae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:11:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minhoinator/pseuds/minhoinator
Summary: The morning is still far away / And I didn’t fall asleep…Laying on this flat sofa / I have too many thoughts, I can’t sleep tonight…





	1. One of Those Nights

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on my crack theory that "[I'm Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EVu6tVZUgc)" is a response to "[One of Those Nights](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZWSW90lybM)"

The ticking of the clock was too loud, and Kibum couldn’t sleep.

Everything was too loud after the lights were turned off -- the clock, the settling of the house, the wind outside, the static from the muted television. Hell, even the silence.

It was too loud; too much.

Kibum rolled over on the couch, staring at the drama rerun as it played on the screen. It was nearly impossible to get comfortable enough to sleep out here. But, if he slept in his own bed, his mind would betray him with thoughts of...him. Kibum closed his eyes, sighing heavily before he opened them again.

It had been almost six months since he and Minho had broken up, and five since they had last seen each other on the subway. He had been doing fine, until that day...until he saw how run-down Minho looked. Thinner than either of them liked with prominent eye bags, distracting Kibum from fully meeting his ex’s eye.

Why? Why had Minho chosen his job over him? In hindsight, perhaps an ultimatum hadn’t been the way to go, but at the time, Kibum had thought that Minho would have picked him.

He hugged himself a little tighter, inhaling the trace of Minho’s cologne that was still on the hoodie he was wearing.

_”Come on, please?”_

_Minho laughed, holding up the small bottle of Memo Inlé to his old sweatshirt. “Why, though?” Kibum rolled his eyes, which made Minho chuckle before he pressed a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll do it, baby, don’t worry. I’m just curious, that’s all.”_

_“You’re just leaving for New York tonight and...and I’ll miss you… Stop looking at me like that,” he said, as Minho’s expression softened. Kibum averted his eyes with a smile when Minho started spraying the cologne._

_“You know,” Minho said, as he leaned across Kibum to set the hoodie on Kibum’s side of the bed. “There are several ways I could make sure you remember me while I’m gone.”_

_Kibum leaned back against his pillows, his smile growing. “Several, huh?” Minho hummed as he nodded, and rolled over so that he was laying completely on top of Kibum. His breath hitched as Minho started trailing kisses from his neck to his bare chest. “Do we have enough time?”_

_“Well,” Minho propped his chin on Kibum’s sternum, giving a smug smile. “If we don’t, then we can always pick up where we left off when I get home. How...does...that…sound?” he asked, punctuating each word with another kiss down from his chest to his stomach to his thighs until he was laying between Kibum’s legs._

_He didn’t give Kibum time to answer his question._

Kibum shook his head, refocusing on the drama as the credits rolled. It wouldn’t do to reminisce about the sex...and how good it always was… Because it wasn’t just the sex he missed, he missed everything. The god-awful songs Minho would sing in the shower when he was getting ready for work, the coffee and breakfast in bed on the weekends, the organized clutter around the house, just...his presence.

The house felt so empty, now.

He pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket, opening up his kakaotalk and then the messages between him and Minho. He read the last few, the stilted exchanges from after they broke up. Then, he started to type...not that he was intending to send it, of course, but he just needed to write what was going through his mind. His thoughts were meandering, but he wrote them all as they came, closing the app when he finished. 

Blearily, he stared at the tv as the late-night home shopping show came on, watching the hosts _ooo_ and _ahh_ over gaudy jewelry until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

\- - - - -

“Where do you want to hang the streamers?”

“Streamers?” Kibum asked, unable to keep the incredulous tone out of his voice. Both Jonghyun and Jinki watched him with wide eyes as he came out of the kitchen. “Why the fuck would you have streamers?”

“Because...it’s a...birthday party?” Jinki said, his gaze flicking between the other two as if he was unsure now what was actually happening.

“For a grown ass man…”

Jonghyun scoffed. “Pretty bold of you to assume that Taemin wouldn’t like streamers and balloons for his birthday. As the resident expert of what Taemin likes -- “

“Because he’s your boyfriend.”

“ -- I can confidently say that he would very much enjoy these. As well as sucking the helium out of the balloons that I have to go pick up...with the cake…”

“As long as there’s no helium in the cake,” Jinki said as he stood up on the couch to pin the streamer to the ceiling.

“Tape! Use tape!”

He dropped his arm, the streamer in his hand fluttering to the floor. “I’m not tall enough, anyway...I miss M -- “ Whatever he was about to say was cut off by a sharp look from Jonghyun.

As he had only been half-listening, Kibum glanced up at the awkward silence and squinted when Jonghyun gave him an uneasy grin. “What.”

“Jinki was about to say...the M-word.”

“Mud-blood?” Kibum frowned, looking up at Jinki. “I didn’t know you’ve seen _Harry Potter_ …”

“What?” Jonghyun laughed. “No, Minho. He was about to say Minho.”

“Oh...oh, I mean...I’m fine, you can talk about him. I’m doing better, really…” he added when the other two looked unconvinced.

Jinki cleared his throat. “Where, um, can I find the tape?”

“Mi -- the office. The second bedroom,” he said, pointing over his shoulder to the dim hallway. Jonghyun twirled a bit of the streamer around his finger, and Kibum sighed. “Honestly, I’m okay. I wrote out my thoughts last night, and I think that helped a bit.”

“Where?”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up. “You can read it if you want to,” he said as he unlocked his phone. He cut Jonghyun off when he started to protest, opening the kakaotalk app. “I really don’t mind. It’s not a big de…”

Oh, fuck.

He had sent it. He had sent the message. Shit.

And, if that wasn’t already bad enough, Minho had read it, too. And not responded.

“Oh...my god.”

“What?” Kibum couldn’t respond, he could only pass the phone over to Jonghyun and sink into the couch as he read the text. “Oh no...Kibummie...were you drunk?”

“I wish! Then I could have an excuse!” He covered his face with his hands. “This is the worst possible scenario…”

“I found the tape!” Kibum didn’t move his hands, but he saw Jinki come around the couch through the slits between his fingers. “Do I even want to know?”

Kibum just groaned in response before finally sitting up and taking his phone out of Jonghyun’s hands. “I need more coffee. You guys -- ” he gestured to the room, hoping they would pick up on his wanting them to continue decorating. 

He trudged into the kitchen, his heart heavy as he started to make another pot of coffee. Why hadn’t Minho responded? Did he really mean that little to him now? Did he ever?

_“Do you know what I love most about you?” Minho asked, his fingers carding through Kibum’s hair as they caught up on_ Sky Castle. 

_“Hm?” He looked up when Minho didn’t answer right away and found him watching him. “What?”_

_“I swear, I had an answer, but now I just want to say ‘Everything’.” Kibum tried to suppress a smile but failed. “I can’t help it. You’re too amazing and I love you too much.”_

_Kibum squirmed, turning his head on Minho’s lap so he was facing the television. “Why are you so sappy today?”_

_“I missed you, so I’m allowed! Plus, you love it. Would you rather I be working?” he started reaching for the cascade of papers spilling out onto the coffee table. Kibum grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together before holding their hands against his chest. “Oh no,” he said drolly, a smile in his voice. “Now I’ll never meet my deadline...”_

_“What a terrible thing, I’m so sorry,” Kibum said, just as sarcastically, kissing the back of Minho’s hand when he chuckled. After a moment, Minho shifted, and Kibum glanced away from the television. “Do you really have to work?”_

_“I probably should, yeah. But I can finish watching this episode, don’t worry,” he said, squeezing Kibum’s hand. Kibum nodded with a sigh as he looked back at the television._

He did love him, at one point, at least. That much he knew for sure. Kibum just wished that he could let go of Minho as easily as Minho had let go of him...

\- - - - -

_7:55 // Do you at least have coffee for me?_

Kibum looked up with the subway pulled into the station and quickly pocketed his phone as he made his way onto the train with the jumble of people. Hopefully, Taemin would remember to look at his phone sometime between now and Kibum’s next subway stop. He sucked his teeth at the man who had just bumped into him without apologizing. 

Suppressing an exasperated sigh, Kibum reached up and grabbed one of the overhead straps before the train started moving again. “It’s too early for this bullshit,” he mumbled under his breath, bracing himself as the train started. He scanned the faces in the crowd around him, his gaze trailing back when he thought he spotted someone familiar in the car just ahead of him. 

He blinked, disbelieving. Minho? Kibum instantly averted his eyes, turning around in case he had seen him...only to look back a moment later. Minho was still staring off into space. Even at this distance, Kibum could tell that his usually bright and cheery eyes were dull...almost lifeless. 

It was a wonder Kibum could recognize him at all.

And, it wasn’t as if Minho didn’t know his job was soul-sucking...he made that comment multiple times in the years they were a couple. As sad as Kibum was to see him like this, anger flared up within him as well. If the train hadn’t been moving, he might have barged into the next car and demanded Minho explain his decision. 

But then, Minho yawned, and his eyelids drooped further still. The heat of Kibum’s anger dissipated. Was this his life, now? Just the constant drudgery of work? Jinki had mentioned that he had tried several times to hang out with Minho, after work, and while Minho always said he would, he would also always call several hours later to say that he had gotten caught up at work. 

Kibum looked up when the woman over the intercom announced the next stop, and then back to Minho to find him rousing himself. Their eyes met briefly, but Kibum looked away and didn’t see if Minho kept looking at him or not. 

The train came to a stop, and Kibum kept a hold of his strap while others exited, watching for Taemin to get on. He waved when he spotted him, and Taemin barely made it onto the train before the doors closed. “No coffee?” he asked once Taemin made his way over to him. 

“No?” 

“I swear to God, if you don’t start reading your texts...”

“I do!” 

“Not just the ones from Jjong.”

“I don’t!” Kibum scoffed, looking over Taemin’s head to where Minho had been, only to find him gone. “Besides, we can always get some coffee at the cafe.”

“I suppose.” 

Luckily, Taemin was able to distract him with their ongoing discussion about new choreography to teach the trainees. Once they were off the subway and had their coffee, they went upstairs to the dance studios, splitting up when their groups arrived. He worked with his first group, perfecting their technique and correcting their movements until their session was up. 

It would be fifteen or so minutes before his next crew would arrive, so Kibum took the time to stretch his limbs while he waited. He glanced around the room before he met his own gaze in the mirror.

_He hadn’t noticed Minho standing there while he practiced the new choreography in their bathroom mirror. Not until he cleared his throat. Kibum glanced over at him, his face instantly turning beet red as he looked back in the mirror. “Shut up.”_

_“I didn’t say anything!” Minho said, his amusement evident in his voice as he moved behind him in the bathroom to inspect his own appearance before he left for work._

_“Yeah, but you were thinking it.”_

_Minho adjusted his tie pin, making eye contact with Kibum in the mirror. “Maybe I was thinking you’re the cutest, you ever consider that?”_

_“Were you?”_

_“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Maybe not,” he added with a twinkle in his eye as he turned to Kibum, raising his eyebrows in question._

_Kibum reached up and adjusted the knot of his tie before patting his chest. “Have a good day, I’ll see you later.”_

_He cupped Minho’s cheek with his hand as he leaned in to kiss him goodbye. “Missing you already,” he said, smiling into another kiss before he left Kibum’s side._

The door to the dance studio opened, and Kibum blinked as he looked away from the mirror. He scrambled to his feet, bowing in greeting to the trainees as they filed into the room. 

“Alright.” He cleared his throat, trying to drive any thought of Minho from his mind. “Let’s pick up where we left off.”

\- - - - -

As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, Kibum leaned against it, and let out a heavy sigh. Lights from the city illuminated the darkened living room, and Kibum kicked off his shoes and shucked his jacket before he flicked on the lights.

His house was still in disarray after Taemin’s surprise party -- twisted streamers rocking back and forth because of the ceiling fan, the helium balloons drooping as they started their slow descent, and the mess of confetti covering everything. 

It’s not like it mattered, that his house was a sty. He was the only one who ever saw it anyways...

Huffing, Kibum stepped forward, grimacing at the confetti that stuck to his bare feet. He went over to the side table and turned on the television, instantly relaxing at the sound of static and someone else’s voice filling the empty space. The fridge light was bright as he opened it, and he leaned against the door. “Fuck, I need to get groceries.”

There was literally only two plates of Taemin’s leftover birthday cake. Kibum grabbed one of the plates and went back into the living room, swiping some of the frosting and sucking it off of his finger as he plopped down on his couch. While he didn’t necessarily enjoy _Running Man_ , he wasn’t in any mood to change the channel. 

It had been...almost a week since he had seen Minho in the subway. 

If he had been having a problem keeping Minho off of his mind before...it was nothing compared to how he was now. 

Quite frankly, it was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. 

Maybe he needed to ask one of the others to set him up on a date. It was time, right? Seven months was long enough..he was just being pathetic at this point. He set his plate of cake down and pulled out his phone, checking the last message he sent him. 

Still read. Still not responded to. 

Kibum pursed his lips, tossing it into the pile of confetti on the couch. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d talk to Jonghyun about a blind date. He started brushing the confetti off of the couch so he could lay down. After a second, he stopped. 

No.

It was time to actually sleep in his own bed, not the most uncomfortable couch on the goddamn planet. He grabbed his phone and stood, freezing mid-step when he heard a knock at the door. _11:46_? Who the hell would be coming here this late?

Slowly, he approached the door, peeking through the peephole. Wait...Minho? Kibum leaned back, rubbing his eyes before he looked through again to make sure. Yep, it was him. 

He jumped when there was another knock at the door. 

Kibum, pressing his hand to his chest to soothe his erratically beating heart, took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob. Once he pulled the door open, Minho immediately met his eyes. He still looked exhausted but perked up as Kibum leaned against the door jam. “Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey...”

“Can I come in?” Minho asked, his eyebrows raising. Any defenses that Kibum had been building came crashing down, and he pushed the door open a little wider.


	2. I'm Home

The figures on the sales report blurred together and Minho rubbed his eyes, attempting to refocus. It wasn't like it was that late. He grabbed his phone, blinking slowly when he tapped the screen. Okay, so maybe it was. Still, he should finish reading over these reports, since he had that meeting with investors in the morning.

Yawning, Minho tossed his phone aside and stood, heading for the kitchen to make himself yet another cup of coffee. He tied his robe loosely around his waist, and he found only find one of his slippers on his way to the kitchen. The clock on the oven blinked /3:05/ when he glanced at it on his way to his Keurig. He found the darkest roast he had and popped the pod it and started it brewing.

He grabbed his full cup of coffee, and replaced the new pod with a new, lighter roast. Minho doctored his coffee to his liking before the other cup finished brewing, and he stirred in the two teaspoons of sugar, just the way…

Oh, right. Kibum wasn't here.

Maybe he should just go to sleep. Play catch up tomorrow.

He held the coffee cup over the sink, poised to pour it down the drain.

_”Minho?”_

_He grinned at Kibum's incredulous expression, holding up the coffee he had gotten for him. “Surprised?” He glanced down the hall when Kibum tried to peek over his shoulder. For the moment, there was no one to watch out for. “We're good, I think.”_

_Kibum nodded for Minho to come inside his dance studio, taking both coffees from his hands and setting them on the chair halfway across the room. “I thought you weren't going to be back until tomorrow?”_

_“I took an earlier flight,” he said as he closed the door behind him. “I missed you too m -- hey…” He couldn't help his dopey smile as Kibum slipped into his personal space. Kibum wrapped his arms around Minho’s waist, pulling him just that much closer. “Did you miss me, too?”_

_“Maybe a little,” Kibum muttered into his skin as he left a trail of kisses up his neck. Minho couldn’t hold back his sigh, and Kibum chuckled as he leaned away to look into his eyes. “When do you have to go back?”_

_“To work?” Kibum hummed his answer, his eyes dropping to Minho's lips for a second. “They still think I'm in New York.”_

_Kibum's gaze instantly flicked up to meet Minho's eyes. “Oh?”_

_“So...that means I have tomorrow off…”_

_“Hmm...we'll have to think of something fun to do.”_

_Minho smiled when Kibum's cheeks dimpled, and he carded his fingers through the hair on Kibum's neck. As he leaned in, he stopped a fraction away from Kibum's lips. “I'll see you after you get off, baby.” Closing the distance between them, Minho kissed Kibum, smiling as Kibum pulled him closer, the kiss deepening...until…_

_The doorknob beside them jiggled, and they instantly broke apart. Kibum wiped his lips as Minho went over to grab his coffee from the chair. He smiled at the trainees as he passed them on his way out the door. “Who was that?” one of them asked Kibum._

_“My roommate,” Kibum started to say as Minho closed the door behind him._

Sighing, Minho set Kibum's cup of coffee aside and took up his own. He flicked the kitchen light off on his way back to the living room, taking an experimental sip of his coffee as he made his way back to the couch. He took another sip and glanced at his phone before he started to arrange the reports on the coffee table.

Wait...he had a notification?

He stared at the blinking orange light for a second. Who would be texting him right now? Maybe work...actually, probably work. His sense of duty was the only reason why he put down his coffee and picked up his phone.

But...it wasn't work.

The _Yeobo_ with the blue heart emoji after it burned into his eyes. Why had Kibum texted him? After all this time?

The _Yeobo_ was a joke he had made almost a year ago when he had gotten home from work to find that Kibum had dinner waiting. It had embarrassed Kibum, which was adorable. So, he made quite the show of changing his name for him on kakaotalk, and...after they broke up, he hadn't had the heart to change it back to _Kibum_.

Oh, he tried to several times, but every time he did, he would read through their old messages and he just...couldn't.

The screen went black, and Minho unlocked his phone, immediately opening the message.

 **Yeobo** 💙

**3:07 // Honestly it's stupid. It's stupid how much I miss you. Even though you're not here beside me, you are. Will I ever be able to get rid of you? As much as I want to or would like to, I can't. I think you're a part of me and you always will be. Do you miss me, too? Even a little bit? I hope so. I hope I irritate you with how much you think about me and I hope you remember us. What we were. What our future could of been. I'm trying hard to be strong, but the nights are long without you here. So are the days. Maybe I'm just lonely.**

Minho's grip tightened around his phone as he reread the message again and again. Did Kibum mean to send this? It didn't seem like something he'd willingly admit unless he was drunk.

And even then.

Still, Minho started typing a response. _I miss you too, so much it hurts. I wish we had never ended_... He stopped, letting out a sigh as he started to backspace. Even though Kibum sent it, it felt like an accident. Like, he didn't intend for Minho to read it. So, Minho exited out of the app and set his phone aside. He grabbed his coffee again and picked up the stack of reports.

* * * * *

_Ring-ring...Ring-ring_

Minho stirred, stretching to fumble with his alarm clock. With a shiver, he dropped his head back on the throw pillow, curling in on himself for a little extra warmth.

_Ring-ring...Ring-ring_

Yawning, Minho peeked over the arm of his couch, locating his phone before he picked it up. “Hello?”

“Oh good, you're awake,” his father said into the receiver. Minho held back a scoff. Barely… “I wanted to discuss the meeting before you get here.”

Minho closed his eyes, setting his phone on his lap as he sat up. “Okay,” he said once he held up the phone again.

Why was his father so chipper in the morning? Maybe his secret was that he actually slept at a normal time. He listened as his father talked on and on about his expectations for him during the meeting, and switched from the living room phone to the one in his bathroom.

Minho looked into the mirror, his fingers tracing the bags under his eyes. He set the phone down, filling his hands with cool water and splashing it over his face. Hopefully, that would help. He picked up his phone again as he brushed his hair back with his fingers as his dad kept talking.

“Do you think you can do that?”

“I'll do my best.” He flinched at his tone and braced himself as his father went silent on the other end.

“You haven't been spending time with that Kibum again, have you?” When Minho didn't answer him right away, his father took that to mean that he was. “I didn't have to promote you, you know. You're lucky Minseok started his own company so that you could do something with your life.”

“Father, I haven't...I haven't been.”

“I'll see you when you get here.” The click on the other end signified the end of their discussion.

As much as he wanted to throw the receiver across the room, Minho walked it over to its place on the wall. He went into his walk-in closet, then, inspecting the sparse assortment of suits hanging there. Minho reached for the gray Givenchy suit, caressing the darker stripes with his thumb.

_“I swear, if you don't at least try on this fucking suit, I will dump you.”_

_Minho looked around, checking to see if the attendants were paying them any attention before he booped the tip of Kibum’s nose. “No, you wouldn't.”_

_“Okay, you're right...but...think of the baby,” Kibum said, jutting his bottom lip out in the barest hint of aegyo._

_Minho threw his head back, laughing hard enough for Kibum to shush him so he didn't disturb the other customers. “Fine, I put it on, but just for you.”_

_“Why won't you buy it?” Kibum asked as he trailed behind Minho on his way to the fitting room, sitting outside when Minho closed the door behind him_

_“My father said not to be too flashy with what I wear.” Minho smirked when Kibum started to laugh as he slipped out of his t-shirt and jeans. “Don't you start.”_

_“I'm sorry, I just don't see what's so flashy about wearing black all the time.”_

_Minho zipped up his slacks, glancing at the closed door. “What? You think I should change?”_

_“I think...you should wear what makes you happy and confident.”_

_He finished tucking in his shirt then undid the top button before he shrugged on the jacket. “What do you think?” he asked, opening the door to let Kibum see. His boyfriend sat still, staring unblinkingly at Minho where he stood in the doorway. Minho could feel a smile curl his lips upward, and he unbuttoned the second, tugging at the collar to let just a bit more of his chest show. “Do you have any thoughts, or…”_

_“I...think...that we should buy this and go straight home.”_

Gulping, Minho let go of the Givenchy suit, grabbing his plain navy one instead.

* * * * *

It had to be a trick.

His eyes must be deceiving him. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t gotten a whole lot of sleep last night, so perhaps his brain had conjured up exactly what he wanted to see. Who he longed to see.

Kibum was there, just in the other car on the subway. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds, and he looked away. But it was him. Looking healthy and as beautiful as ever. He blamed the tears stinging his eyes on his exhaustion, even if he knew that was just a lie he was telling himself. He blinked, driving them away, as the other passengers started to deboard the subway.

Oh, right, this was his stop. He had a plane to catch.

The journey to the airport, and even through security as well as boarding the plane, passed by in a blur. He had done it so many times, now. Too many. Minho stuffed his carry-on bag into the overhead bin, not even reacting when something fell out of the side pocket, bouncing off of his arm and onto the ground. He slid into his seat, slowly reaching down to grab it, only to find that one of the stewardesses got to it first.

“Is this yours?” she asked, holding up the little black box.

“Yes,” he said, his voice almost too quiet for her to hear, judging by the way she squinted an leaned closer to him. He held out his hand, and she placed it in his palm.

_The ring box bit into his palm as he tightened his fist around it in his pocket. “Please, Minho, sit. We have a lot to discuss.”_

_He stared at his father, a silent plea in his gaze. A silent plea that was being firmly ignored. Minho took a deep breath, steeling himself, and sat down in the armchair opposite his father. “How did you know?”_

_“Your mother saw you two. At the mall. She said that you and...he were hanging all over each other.” Minho averted his eyes, his face heating. “I think it goes without saying that we don’t approve of your little tryst.”_

_Wow, what a huge surprise...He had no idea that would be the case._

_“Do you...love him?”_

_“More than anything in the world,” Minho answered without thinking. His eyes widened a second later...he probably shouldn’t have said that… “What do you want from me?”_

_“What do I want with you? Nothing. ‘What do I expect from you?’ should have been your question.” Minho gritted his teeth, refusing to ask. “I expect that you’ll break it off with him immediately, and never see him again, or -- “_

_“Or?”_

_“Or I will tell his boss that Kibum is a homosexual. I am friends with Sooman, after all. I’m sure you remember that.”_

_He did. Fuck…_

_“As long as you do that, I’ll keep the information to myself. I wouldn’t want you to cause any more shame on the family, as it is.”_

_Minho cursed himself as tears filled his eyes. Stay with Kibum, and risk poverty and ostracization for them both. Let him go, and rest assured that Kibum would be safe. When it came down to it, the decision was easy._

_“Okay,” he said, raising his chin as he met his father’s eyes. “I’ll do it.”_

The stewardess walked away, and Minho’s gaze slipped to the ring box. He remembered that day vividly -- the day he had bought the ring. Jinki was there with him, as Jonghyun and Taemin could not be trusted with any secrets ever. It was a hard decision, narrowing down his choice for the perfect ring for Kibum. In the end, he decided on a thin silver band, five tiny diamonds etched into the top.

Honestly, it had been an impulse buy. He and Jinki had been at the mall to pick out a new coat for Jinki before the winter hit on one of Minho’s rare days off. But when they passed by the jewelry shop, Minho couldn’t help but stop and look at one of the rings that caught his eye, and they ended up scouring the selection to find the perfect one. He hadn’t been planning on proposing, not quite yet, but now that he had the ring...why not? Jinki entertained him for the rest of their time at the mall, coming up with ridiculous scenarios for Minho to propose.

He had almost forgotten that he carried it with him, still. It was a little piece of Kibum -- even if he wasn’t aware of its existence -- a little reminder of what they could have been.

The flight attendants started their safety spiel as the plane started to taxi onto the runway. Minho leaned back in his seat, his eyes closing. Hopefully, he would dream of happier times.

* * * * *

Deliberations in New York took longer than they needed to. They always did.

Minho opened his eyes when the elevator dinged, stepping forward and down the hall to his condo. His briefcase swung back and forth at his side, tapping against his leg as he fished in his pocket for his keys. Once the door was unlocked, he trudged inside, tossing the briefcase on the nearby sofa. He flopped down on the other, tucking himself easily into the curve of the couch.

If it wasn’t already enough -- the neverending hours at work, the long flights, the general lack of sleep, the soul-crushing silence of the empty room -- he hadn’t been able to get Kibum off of his mind. Not since the subway.

If he could only...see him again...speak with him one last time...beg for his forgiveness...then he might be satisfied.

He didn’t dream of happier times. Not on the flight, not when he tried to sleep in his hotel room. Not ever.

_”So,” Kibum said, his previously impassive expression faltering with a quiver at his chin. “Which will it be?”_

_“Kibum…I -- ”_

_“It shouldn’t be a hard decision, Minho. Me...or your job.”_

_Minho gulped, his shoulders sinking as his gaze fell to the floor. Ah, his time was up. When his father told him to break it off, he tried. He genuinely did. It was just...wanted to be selfish. To live on borrowed time, for a while. He knew their days were numbered, and he wanted to savor every he could with Kibum, memorizing everything._

_But it was over now. He had driven him away._

_He took as many hours as he could at work, barely making any time for Kibum. His Kibum. The sudden productivity from his son seemed to surprise Father, and he got a promotion at work. And with that, came more flights to and from the states and more responsibilities...and less time with his boyfriend._

_It was only a matter of time before this day would come. When he’d have to say goodbye._

_Not that he was ready, of course. But it was time._

_Minho met Kibum’s eyes and held his gaze, burning the curves and lines of his face into his memory. “I’m sorry.” Kibum’s bottom lip quivered until he clenched his jaw, turning his face away from Minho. It took a moment for Minho to summon the courage to stand, to walk past Kibum on his way to the door. “If I could make one last request,” he said, his voice quiet in the strained silence stretching between them._

_When Kibum didn’t answer, Minho looked back and found that he hadn’t turned his head to watch him go. But he was listening._

_“Please, don’t hate me.”_

_As he opened the door, Kibum’s head twitched toward the noise and Minho froze, waiting. “That's the thing. I could never hate you.” And, with that, Minho closed the door behind him._

Minho rubbed his eyes, driving the reverie away.

It’s not like he could do anything about it. He couldn’t go see Kibum, which meant he couldn’t apologize and try to make amends. It would be pointless.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he dug it out, the ring box falling out with it. As Minho sat up, he took up the ring box and opened it. He stared at the gems, and they seemed to stare back, teasing him, taunting him. Minho snapped the ring box closed and carried it with him to his closet, setting it down among his glasses..

Maybe, his traitorous mind thought, and he pushed it away as he stood in front of his suits. What if, it continued as Minho pulled out the Givenchy suit. He had yet to wear it, to work or otherwise. It wasn’t long before he had stripped out of his travel-worn suit and slipped into the designer suit. Why he put it on, he wasn’t sure.

“You’re being selfish,” he said to his reflection, as he adjusted his tie pin. Was it worth throwing their safety away? Just for a moment of weakness? He dragged his hand across the nape of his neck, sighing heavily, as he stared at the ring box. It didn’t matter that he felt like he was deteriorating on the inside. It didn’t matter that his heart ached every second they had been apart.

It didn’t matter what he wanted. Or needed.

Minho grabbed the ring box, taking it back into the living room and sinking into the sofa. He had to be strong...for both of them. As he flipped the box over in his hand, his mind wandered to the text message Kibum had sent him.

_I think you’re a part of me and you always will be._

No matter how much he tried to be strong, he was always so weak, when it came to Kibum. His fist tightened around the ring box, and he shot up from the couch, running for the elevator.

“Where to?” the taxi driver asked, suppressing a yawn as Minho buckled up.

Home.

Minho rattled off Kibum’s address without a thought, and he leaned back in his seat as the car pulled forward. He stared out the window, watching the city lights pass him by as he took deep, calming breaths.

For better or for worse, he had to be selfish this one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please look forward to the final chapter~


	3. Unchained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, the other two chapter titles are taken from their songs, but the third is taken from "[Unchained Melody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXARHZmpgvw)" by the Righteous Brothers. If you haven't listened to it, please do...I feel like the lyrics capture the general mood of this chapter, but that could just be me lol

“Can I come in?”

It was only when the door was closed behind him that Kibum remembered the state of his house. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, glancing at the back of Minho’s head and waiting for his reaction to the remnants of the party.

“This was for Taemin, right?” Kibum blinked in surprise. “Jinki invited me to come a couple of weeks ago.” That fucker...Jinki didn’t mention anything about the extended invitation. “I was scheduled to be in New York…” Minho’s voice trailed off as he sighed. 

“Why are you here, Minho?” He turned around, then, meeting Kibum’s inquisitive gaze. There was warmth there, still, in those tired eyes. Warmth and hope and a silent plea for understanding. Kibum looked down at the spread of confetti on the floor, then brushed past Minho as he followed the path through it to the couch. He sat in his spot, looking up at Minho expectantly. “Well?” 

“I didn’t think I’d get this far...Not quite sure where to begin, to be honest.”

“How about sitting down.” He was more curious than anything else, now. Had he dressed up in that suit specifically to see him? Or was that just a random choice for his day at work? Kibum followed Minho’s progress around the room, and he grabbed the remote as Minho sat on the opposite end of the couch to turn the volume down several clicks. 

Minho brushed more of the confetti off and onto the floor as he made himself comfortable, pointedly avoiding Kibum’s gaze. He picked one of the pieces up, twirling it around his finger as he looked up. “You could never irritate me.” Kibum’s brow furrowed in confusion. They irritated each other frequently in the many years they had known each other, especially when they were a couple. “Thoughts of you -- of us -- could never irritate me.”

Oh god...the text message. Was that why he decided to come? Kibum started to apologize for sending that, but Minho continued.

“Those were the happiest moments of my life. The ones with you.”

“Which ones?” Kibum found himself asking.

“All of them.” He gulped as Minho looked down at his hands again. “I missed you so much, ba -- Bummie.” 

If he could physically reach into his chest and stop his heart from swelling, he would. He needed to be strong, not only for his own sake but also for Minho’s as well. For a moment, his gaze drifted away. “Then why did you leave?” His eyes snapped back to meet Minho’s when he looked up. “Why did you wait so long to see me again, if you missed me so much?” 

“I had to.” 

“Had to?” Kibum smirked when Minho nodded. “Ultimatums aren’t that serious. You didn’t have to stay away.” Hurt flashed in Minho’s eyes, and Kibum almost broke his stony demeanor and apologized. He knew...he knew he was being unfair. He had been the one to make him choose. The one to make him leave. 

“You don’t understand.” 

“Is that why you’re here, then? To explain?” 

Minho started tearing the confetti in his hands into little shreds, his voice low and quiet as he told Kibum about a conversation he had with his father. The threat of blackmail, of their relationship -- and Kibum’s sexuality in particular-- being exposed. How he decided to drive Kibum away, to make him want to let go of what they could have been, because he couldn’t. 

“I’m weak, when it comes to you,” Minho said after a stretch of silence. “I know I was being selfish, and for that, I deeply apologize, but I knew...when it came down to it, that I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to you.” 

Kibum swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Why tell me all this now?” 

“When I saw you in the subway,” Minho chuckled, shaking his head. “After knowing that you missed me too, I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I saw you. One last time.” Last time...no… “I’m sorry for any trouble I caused you,” he said, standing and bowing to Kibum as he started for the door. “I won’t disturb you again.” 

“It’s late.” Minho stopped in his tracks. Just let him go. He’s trying to move on with his life. Don’t ask him to -- “Stay. You can always take a taxi or whatever home in the morning.” 

Minho turned, hope twinkling in his eyes. “Where will I sleep?” Kibum patted the couch. “What about -- “

“I still have some of your old t-shirts...and the blankets are where they always have been.” Minho nodded as Kibum stood, and started for their -- no, his room. He grabbed his pajamas, as well as Minho's t-shirt he wore most often to sleep in, and went back out to the main room. “Here.” Kibum tossed the shirt in Minho’s general direction, glancing over to find him cleaning off the entire couch before he laid the fleece throw down. “Goodnight, Min.” 

“Goodnight.” 

He’d be a fool to miss the longing in Minho’s voice. 

Distracted now, he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, completely forgoing his face washing routine. He flicked off the bathroom light and walked down the hall to see that the light and the television were turned off. Kibum stared into the darkness for a moment, before he turned and went into his bedroom. 

“You’d think after that couch, this bed would be much more comfortable,” he murmured to himself, pulling the blankets up to his chin. He tossed and turned, curling up around his pillow and then lying bone-straight on his side, then his back, then his other side...then face down. 

Kibum rolled over, lying on his back to watch the shadows shift on the ceiling with passing cars. How was Minho faring out there? He could always sleep anywhere, no matter what, so he was probably fine...but...no... He couldn’t bring Minho in here; he couldn’t cross that line. Not yet! Or ever! 

His body, however, seemed to have a different idea. Kibum slipped out of bed, tiptoeing to the entrance of the hallway overlooking the living room. “Minho.”

“Yeah?” he whispered after a second of hesitation. 

“Do you want to come to bed?” 

In the darkness, he saw Minho’s silhouette peeking out over the back of the couch. “Are you sure?” 

“If you don’t want to, then...whatever.” He turned and headed back to bed, his heart sinking as he slipped back under the covers. Closing his eyes, he turned over on his side, hoping to force himself to go to sleep. 

The bed dipped and rocked as Minho crawled in, being careful not to disturb Kibum, who had started to smile. It only took a few minutes for Minho’s breathing to steady and for the first of his snores to come. Kibum’s eyes stung with tears that he blinked away as he rolled over to face Minho. The city lights from the far window gilded his silhouette, his shadow stretching out toward Kibum. 

Minho snored again, and Kibum pursed his lips to stop a chuckle. He didn’t think he would miss that, and yet… Eventually, his eyes drooped, and he nodded off into a restful sleep.

As dawn broke, he stirred, feeling overly warm. Kibum barely opened his eyes, inhaling the fresh laundry scent right in front of his nose. There was just white, and as he looked up, the beautiful tan of Minho’s skin. He was in Minho’s arms, and him in Kibum’s. They were holding each other close, as though even in sleep, they were afraid of letting each other go again. Sighing, Kibum snuggled closer still and closed his eyes, drifting off again.

* * * * *

It was mid-morning by the time Minho woke, and the bed was empty.

Wait...bed? 

He opened his sleepy eyes, taking in the familiar room. The random collection of art hanging on the walls, the same covers on the bed, several of the drawers in the dresser across the room always slightly open, and the light on in the walk-in closet. Minho took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking over at the rumpled sheets beside him. Cool now, it seemed. He pulled his hand back, his eyes widening as Kibum walked into the room with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Is this a dream..?” Kibum started at the sound of Minho’s voice, his hand instantly going to his towel to make sure it didn’t fall open. 

“You’re awake.” 

Minho could barely nod as Kibum moved further into the room. He could only stare at Kibum, drinking in the sight of him. This felt too real to be a dream. Minho blinked as Kibum swung the door closed -- though not shut -- after he stepped into the closet. When he reappeared, he was dressed in dark wash skinny jeans and an oversized sweatshirt. His eyes instantly met Minho’s, his expression softening slightly. 

“How’d you sleep?” He asked as he sat on the foot of the bed.

“Better than I have in a long...long time.” 

Kibum laced his fingers, folding his hands together in his lap as Minho sat up, mirroring the motion. “So…” Minho raised his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side. “I was thinking...I should come out to my boss.” He blinked, taken aback. “That way, at least your dad has nothing against me.” 

“Will...will you be alright?” he whispered. Unfortunately, he remembered all too well what happened when Kibum came out to his parents. He had been sitting in the other room while they argued with Kibum, trying to make him see how wrong his life was. His choices. He remembered the angry tears in Kibum’s eyes as he stormed out of the room, he remembered the vice-like grip on his hand and he dragged Minho out of the house and to their car.

That had been years ago, and he still had yet to reconcile with his mother. His father, since their divorce, luckily had come around.

“It’s just a job. If I get fired…” he shrugged, meeting Minho’s eyes for a second before he dropped his gaze to his hands.

“But you love that job, right?” Kibum nodded. “Is it worth the risk?” 

Kibum looked up, searching Minho’s concerned expression until his attention shifted to Minho’s lips and then to his eyes. “So, I was an idiot, and I didn’t go grocery shopping last week...or the week before...so I don’t have any coffee for you.” 

“That’s okay…” He smirked, and before he could think better of it, he said, “Just seeing you gives me more than enough of a boost.” Kibum bit his bottom lip in an effort to keep from smiling too wide. “Too soon?”

“Maybe a little...but I can’t say I mind.”

He smiled then, softly, but enough to make the dimple appear on his cheek. Minho’s shoulders drooped as he sighed. Kibum’s hands were still folded together, his thumbs tapping a rhythm together. Minho clenched his own fists in the sheets, longing to reach out and brush his fingers through Kibum’s hair, that was still slightly damp from his shower. Or, to hold him close in his arms. To feel his warmth, each intake of his breath. Anything to let him know that this was real.

“Are you sure this isn’t a dream?” 

Kibum’s smile grew. “Do you often dream of me?” 

“If I dream, you’re always there.” 

He stared at him, his gaze growing tender until he blinked and averted his eyes. “Anyways, I should get going. I'm already almost late for work as it is.”

“Kibum.” Minho shot out of bed as he stood and turned for the door. “Do you want me to come with you?”

A heavy sigh. “Sure.”

Minho rushed to get ready, pulling on his slightly rumpled suit and brushing his teeth with a spare toothbrush before he met Kibum at the door. The journey to SM Entertainment was somber. Quiet. Neither of them seemed to mind that. 

Ordinarily, a packed subway would have been irritating, but in this case, the physical closeness to Kibum was a soothing balm on his aching heart. A tingle danced along his skin every time he reached out to steady him, his touch lingering a second longer than necessary. 

It wasn't much, but it was more than Minho could have ever hoped for. 

They stayed an arm's length apart as they ventured into the cafe, Kibum instructing Minho to stay there until he came to find him. And...then he left. Minho watched him disappear down a long hallway, long to run after him, to hold him close and give him whatever strength he could. 

The minutes stretched on, and eventually, he had to distract himself so he didn't just fidget until Kibum reappeared. He bought himself a coffee, taking tiny sips of it as he waited.

And waited.

Twenty minutes had passed before Kibum walked into the cafe, meeting Minho's inquisitive gaze immediately. A subtle nod and Minho was on his feet, following Kibum back down the hallway. Neither spoke as Kibum led them toward the dance studios.

His hands were trembling as he pulled out his keys, and it made it hard for him to unlock the door. Minho reached out, one hand instinctively slipping around Kibum's waist and the other taking the keys to open the studio. Once inside, he led Kibum over to the closest chair before he hurried back to close and lock the door. 

When he made his way back to Kibum, he knelt before him, taking his hand in his as Kibum took deep calming breaths. “I'm okay,” he said after several minutes. “It went better than I was expecting.”

“What happened?”

“I told him the truth.”

“Sooman?”

Kibum nodded. “He said as long as I didn't let it affect my work and I didn't try to turn the trainees -- “ Minho grimaced. “ -- yeah...he said he didn't care.” Sighing, Minho leaned forward, pressing his forehead against their joined hands. After a minute, Kibum’s other hand patted Minho’s head, his fingers carding through Minho’s hair. “Now, there’s at least one thing that your dad doesn’t control.”

Minho slowly opened his eyes and stared at Kibum’s knee just beyond his nose. God, he really was an idiot...of course that’s why Kibum did this. They would never be able to return to how they were -- maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday -- if Kibum didn’t come out first. His father would tear them apart in whatever way he could. Whether by blackmail, which Kibum just annulled, or other means -- he would not want to lose his control over Minho.

If Kibum could be brave -- marching into uncharted territory unsure of the outcome, for them, for their possible future -- then so could he. 

“When’s your next class?” 

Kibum’s hand stilled in Minho’s hair, dropping to his lap when Minho looked up. “Soon. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to kick you out -- “

Minho released Kibum’s hand. “It’s okay. Can...can I see you later?” Smiling, Kibum nodded, and Minho stood and started for the door. “Do you still get off at six?”

“Yeah…” 

“Okay.” Minho turned the handle looking back at Kibum for a moment. “I’ll see you soon.” 

It wasn’t long until the skyscraper that housed Choi Conglomerate came into view. He stepped inside, breezing through the rotating doorway and walking right past the front desk. The elevator ride up to his office was a quiet one as if none of the employees knew what to say with him present. He raised his chin as the elevator reached his floor, and he walked out, passing Seohyun, his secretary on his way to his office.

“Sir?” she said, following him inside his office. “Your father has been trying to contact you all day.” Ah, that’s what he forgot to grab when he left his condo -- his cellphone. 

“I’m sorry if it caused you stress.” 

“Don’t worry about me, sir. Are you alright? You’ve never been this late before.” 

Minho smiled to himself, and Seohyun sat in one of the chairs across from him. “I’m doing better than I have been in a while.” 

“That’s a relief to hear.” 

Minho met her eyes, and she smiled at him. “Do you know what my father’s schedule is like today?” 

She pulled out her cellphone, probably bringing up her messages between herself and Jieun, his father’s secretary. “He’s currently in a meeting, but he wanted to see you whenever you got in. Apparently, he’s not...very happy.” 

“Wow, what a huge surprise.” Seohyun chuckled, then covered her mouth when Minho looked up. “Why don’t you go ahead and take the day off?” 

“Really?” Minho nodded. “Are you sure?” Laughing, he nodded again. “Thank you, sir.” 

“Do something fun! And, Seohyun?” She stopped, looking back at him from the doorway. “Thank you for everything.” She gave him a shy smile before she closed the door behind herself. Once she was gone, Minho called his father’s office, and Jieun answered. “This is Minho.”

“Ah, Mr. Choi. Your father wishes to see you.”

“When is he out of his meeting?” 

“He just got back.” 

“I’ll be right there. Thank you, Jieun.” He hung up the phone and by the time he made it out the door, Seohyun was nowhere to be found. 

As he walked to his father’s office, he thought about what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it, but his mind was coming up blank. Even as he stepped inside his father’s office, he didn’t know how to begin. He walked up to the desk, standing between the armchairs as his father glared at him behind the desk. He was talking on the phone with someone, but he soon cut them off and hung up.

“Where were you? You’re never late.”

“I overslept.” For once in seven fucking months, he had actually slept a normal amount of time. His father started to speak, but Minho spoke over him. “I quit.” Silence rang in Minho’s ears as his father stared at him. “I’m tired and I hate this job. I just want out. Give it to Minseok, for all I care. I know you’d rather that, anyway.” 

“Why quit now?” 

“I can’t live like this anymore. I’m miserable, and you know it. You exploit it, even.”

“If this is about that...Kibum -- “

“Would you do the same for Mom?” His father’s jaw clenched. “If there were obstacles in your way, keeping the two of you apart, would you fight for her?” Minho sighed when his dad grimaced. “I’m tired. I miss him and I’m tired of not being with him. So, I quit.” 

As he turned to leave, his father said, “If you walk out that door, I never want to see you again.” Minho picked up his pace, not even bothering to turn around to look at his father one last time. 

He felt lightheaded and slightly dizzy as he made his way back downstairs and onto the street. What would he do now? Where would he go? It was only a matter of hours before he would be locked out of his condo, so he made his way there, first, grabbing the few personal possessions that he couldn’t do without. He turned in his key at the front desk, his heart feeling lighter than it had in a long while.

This must be what freedom felt like. 

Minho meandered through Seoul on his way back to SM Entertainment, scouring the shop windows for _We’re Hiring!_ signs. He spotted a few, making mental notes of them all, and soon he was sitting in the cafe with a fresh iced coffee, watching the clock as he waited for Kibum.

Blessedly, it didn’t take too long for him to show, his smile growing as he spotted Minho. “Do...do you want to go grocery shopping with me?” 

“Of course,” Minho said immediately.

It was just like old times -- why wouldn’t it be? Minho followed Kibum around the store, a basket in hand, and pulled things that he pointed at off the shelf. Kibum vented about the dumbass trainees as they shopped, and Minho listened eagerly, adding his own comments when he could and smiling when they made Kibum laugh. They walked home, their arms full of groceries. As Kibum put them away and started dinner, Minho started to clean up the remnants of Taemin’s party. He made good progress before dinner was ready, but after eating and helping Kibum with the dishes, he didn’t want to do much else but sit.

“So, you quit.” Minho nodded, tapping his thumb on the handle of his mug, the tea inside steaming. “What will you do?” 

“I haven’t decided yet. I don’t know if I should look for a job or a place to live first…”

“Job.” Minho slowly met Kibum’s eyes, his eyebrows raising in question. “You can stay here.” 

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Min. You should know that by now.” 

He nodded. 

Once he was finished showering, Kibum turned off the TV and met him by the bedroom door. “You can sleep in here, it’s okay,” he said as Minho tried to go past him and into the living room.

“I don’t want things to be awkward between us.” 

“I know.” He leaned against the door jam as Kibum looked down at the carpet between them. “I know it’s probably asking too much. I don’t know about you, but...but I’m not ready for anything more right now.” As much as Minho longed to return to the way they were before, he knew that wouldn’t be wise. Patience and trust would be key to navigating themselves back into a relationship like the one they had had. “Even...even so, I missed you.” He met Minho’s eyes then. “I missed you so much, and I don’t want to be...to be apart from you again. It’s up to you,” he said, glancing into the bedroom. “If you want to sleep here, or not. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable at all.”

Kibum swallowed thickly before he stepped inside the bedroom. He had already crawled into bed by the time Minho flicked off the light and followed him inside.

\- - - - -

“So, let me get this straight…” Kibum didn’t look up from his phone and the stream of memes Minho was sending him, but he hummed in question when Jonghyun paused. “You’re not dating, but you’re living together again. Sleeping in the same bed -- “

“Just sleeping.”

“And cuddling, I assume.” Kibum blushed, scrolling down when Minho sent him another meme. “Basically spending every waking moment you can together for a month…”

“Yeah? And?” 

“How...no, why not just date again? Have you guys even kissed yet?” Kibum shook his head, rolling his eyes when Jonghyun scoffed. “If I hadn’t seen Taemin in seven months…”

“The world would end as we know it, I know.” 

**Min~**

**12:04 // okay, I have to go back to work now~**

_12:04 // bye~_

Kibum pocketed his phone, rejoining Jonghyun’s rant on how everything good in this world would cease to exist if he and Taemin didn’t see each other every day. “Honestly, you should be grateful to us -- “

“Oh, I am,” Kibum said sarcastically as he picked up his chopsticks to resume eating his lunch. “We’re just...taking things slow, that’s all.” 

“I feel like slow is an understatement.”

“When you’ve known each other as long as we have, you learn to be patient.” 

He stirred his noodles, coating them with sauce before he took a bite. He and Minho had known each other since they were kids in middle school, but they didn’t start dating until their second year of college. Had...had they really been dating for eight years? He hadn’t really thought about it since they split. 

No wonder they had slipped right back into their old routine so easily. 

It only took about a week for Minho to find a new job, the sales manager at Times Square Mall in downtown Seoul. While it was fast-paced enough to keep Minho occupied and engaged, it was nowhere near the levels of stress and dedication he had to endure at his dad’s company. 

About a month had passed since Minho quit his job and their lives intertwined again. Was that enough time? Was he taking too long to make up his mind? They had a solid relationship before the split, trust built and maintained easily. But, even now, he hesitated. It was hard, deciding to make the leap of faith, to reach out and begin things again. 

He hated his own hesitation. He hated how each morning when he woke, he snuggled closer to Minho, leeching the warmth and comfort he was unknowingly giving. He hated how he didn’t linger, didn’t wait for Minho to stir and realize he was holding Kibum like his life depended on it. He hated how he doted on Minho, bringing him coffee just the way he liked it as soon as he was waking up, and he hated the sweet, sleepy smile Minho would give him every morning. He hated how easily domestic they were, as though they had never been apart. 

He hated that he loved every second of it. 

Why couldn’t he cross that line? 

Ah, he was terrified. Of what would happen, should they be forced to split again. Those months without Minho were the darkest he had ever faced, and he faced them alone. And now...now that he was back, even though the sun was shining on them again, the darkness lurked in his mind. 

Jonghyun just didn’t understand...neither did Taemin nor Jinki. Sure, they were there for him in those months, but they couldn’t understand. 

“Speaking of Taemin,” Kibum said, stirring his noodles again. “When does he get back from Japan?”

Jonghyun sighed heavily. “Not soon enough.” 

By the time Kibum was home for the night, Minho had been home for a while, judging by the state of the kitchen. Kibum walked in, smirking as he flipped through the recipe book. “Need any help?” he asked, startling Minho, who turned around to look at him.

“No, I think I got it. Thanks, though.” 

The fried rice was a bit too crunchy for Kibum’s taste, but he ate it all, thanking Minho for the food. As they cleaned up the kitchen together -- Kibum insisted on helping, this time -- his mind started to wander to his and Jonghyun’s earlier conversation. 

“Min.”

“Hm?”

“Are you happy?” 

Minho’s hands stilled in the dishwater, and he glanced over at Kibum. “Of course I am.” 

Nodding, Kibum set the pan to dry. 

His birthday came and went, Minho planning a surprise party that Kibum was actually genuinely surprised by. After they all left, he even helped Kibum wash the cake and buttercream off his face and out of his hair. His hands lingered, on his cheek and when they cupped the back of his head. They were so close, just a little push and the line would have been crossed.

But, there would be no way to go back, if they did. So Kibum stayed still, his gaze trained on Minho’s lips, wishing he had the courage to leap. 

The next morning, Kibum once again woke with the sun, relishing in the warmth of Minho’s embrace. He stared sleepily at the expanse of Minho’s skin just beyond his nose. As his eyes closed, he wrapped his arms around Minho’s waist and nuzzled into his neck. He pressed a chaste kiss where his neck met his shoulder, then another, and another until he reached Minho’s jaw. 

Minho hummed contentedly, and Kibum sat back, still in his embrace, to see if he was awake yet. Not quite. He brushed Minho’s wavy hair off of his forehead, watching his face as the morning sun stretched across his skin, setting it aglow. He caressed his cheekbone with his thumb, smiling as even in his sleep, Minho leaned into the gentle touch. 

He missed mornings like this, lazy and soft and filled with nothing but their love. This thumb stilled on Minho’s cheek. Love? Yes, love...as if he ever stopped loving Minho, even when they were apart. No matter what, he didn’t think that would ever change. 

When Minho finally stirred and opened his eyes, Kibum hadn’t moved away. Minho’s eyes slowly widened when he realized how close they were, that Kibum was in his arms. “Good morning, sweetheart.” Minho’s lips parted, either in surprise or because he had something he wanted to say, but Kibum took it as an invitation and closed the distance between them. 

The kiss started slow and lazy...almost tentative. But, as Minho became more awake, it grew hungrier, needier...desperate, even. Kibum smiled into it as Minho rolled them over so that he was on top of him, his fingers digging into his back as Kibum carded his fingers through Minho’s hair. He opened his eyes when they broke the kiss to breathe, Minho pressing their foreheads together.

“I missed you so much, baby.” 

_I missed you, too_ danced on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be spoken. But instead, Kibum smirked. “Prove it.”

He was so thankful that it was a Sunday because they had so much to catch up on.

* * * * *

Minho brushed the snow out of his hair before he bent down to untie his boots. It had been a long day at the office, what with the Christmas rush starting. He glanced at his phone before he plopped down on the couch, flicking through the channels to find that nothing good was on. He left it on Please Take Care of My Refrigerator but turned the volume down before he tossed the remote across the couch.

He sighed, picking himself up and going to the bedroom to change into something comfier than a suit. Kibum would be home from work soon, and he knew when the other three would be over for their weekly -- when their schedules aligned -- game night. He changed into jeans and a sweatshirt, throwing his work socks into a hamper and putting a pair of polka dotted ones on instead. When his phone vibrated, he looked to see that it was just a text from Kibum, letting him know that he was on his way home. 

Minho grabbed his charging cord, setting his phone on his nightstand before he opened the drawer. There, with the take-out menus, condoms, and the bottle of lube, was the ring box he had bought so long ago. Almost a year, now that he thought about it. He pulled it out before he closed the drawer, popping the box open. 

It was too soon, he knew, to ask Kibum to marry him. Not that they could, anyway, but...someday...someday they’d get there. He’d just have to be patient.

Luckily, that was something he had a lot of practice in.

Smirking to himself, he set the ring back in the drawer and went back out into the kitchen to get the snacks and table set up for the arrival of the others.

Minho’s attention flew to the door when it opened to reveal Kibum, and he smiled as he stomped in, grumbling about the snow. When Kibum looked up from untying his boots, Minho was there, waiting for him to stand so he could hug him. Kibum sniffed a laugh as Minho pulled him out of the entryway and away from the melting snow, hugging him all the while. “Did somebody miss me?”

“Maybe a little.” 

“Hmm. Cute.” Kibum kissed his cheek before he took himself out of Minho’s arms. “What games did you pull out?” 

“Monopoly...Clue…”

“Let’s start with Clue. We’ll still want to be friends with the others afterward. Plus, we can cheat...” 

“You mean observe closely and win,” Minho said, smiling as he put that box on top of the others.

“Yes, of course.” Kibum returned to his side, slipping his arms around Minho’s waist. He held him close, savoring the moments before the other three would arrive and they’d have to play host for the night. Not that he minded, of course. It was just, since they were dating again, he had decided to savor every moment he could with Kibum. 

He pressed a kiss to Kibum’s temple, then another when Kibum’s arms tightened around him. “I love you.” 

Smiling, Kibum looked up at him. “I love you, too,” he said, glancing down at Minho’s lips before he leaned in. Just as they were about to kiss, the doorbell rang at the same time as someone knocked on the door. Minho hesitated. “They can wait.” Minho smiled into the kiss, the incessant knocking disappearing as he melted into it.

For one blessed moment, the world was just he and Kibum, and nothing else mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so there's gonna be an epilogue because I can't let go of this story quite yet pls stay tuned lol


	4. Colorful

“When will you be back?” 

“Two hours at the latest.” 

Kibum smirked, his gaze slowly taking Minho in as he shrugged on his jacket. He could feel the twinkle in his eyes when Minho met his gaze. “Hurry back,” he said, smiling sweetly from his cocoon of warmth in bed as Minho bit his lip with a sigh. As he left the room, Kibum inclined his head, listening. He was putting on his shoes...the grabbing his keys...unlocking the door…

“Love you!”

“Love you, too!”

The door slammed shut and locked, and Kibum jumped out of bed. Two hours was more than enough time to find his birthday present. Minho said he hadn’t gotten his present yet, but Kibum didn’t believe him.

He scoured the closet, opening the drawers, looking behind clothes, pulling out their luggage and checking inside. Nothing. Kibum hummed after he had put everything back in its place, his eyes scanning the room before he dropped to check under the bed. It was...surprisingly empty. Hall closet, empty. Pantry, empty. Linen closet, empty. Coat closet by the door? Fucking empty.

“What the fuck, Choi.”

There was no way he got better at hiding presents in the time they spent apart; he had always been able to find them, even when they were kids. Kibum walked out of the closet after going through it again, sitting down on Minho’s side of the bed to catch his breath. Where could it be? He glanced at the nightstand, then looked again. It could be something small. His eyebrows raised expectantly, Kibum scooted over, slowly opening the drawer.

Was that…He pulled out the small black box, his breath catching as he popped it open.

Minho was going to propose.

The silver ring was cool against his skin as he slid it on his ring finger. Of course, it fit perfectly, why wouldn't it? He held his hand out, inspecting the sparkle of the diamonds in the natural light of the room. Was it too soon? They had only been back together for a year -- well, almost. The day after his birthday would mark a full year.

No, now that he thought about it, the timing was perfect...barring the fact that they legally couldn't get married yet. The trust between them had been established again, almost stronger than it was before their split if that was even possible.

Smiling, Kibum slipped the ring off of his finger and put it back in the box, which he then returned to the drawer as if he had never seen it. Thoroughly satisfied, Kibum slipped back into bed, making himself comfortable before Minho made it back from his meeting.

When his birthday arrived, Kibum's anticipation was high. When would he ask? Over breakfast?...no, but he did get breakfast in bed. Before the other three arrived?...no, but they were making out until the doorbell rang, with the promise of picking it up later. After the candles on his cake were blown out?...no, but Minho did smear frosting across his lips before he started cutting a slice off for him.

Maybe during the actual presents-opening...Kibum decided that must be the case when Minho hurried into their room when Taemin presented the gift from him and Jonghyun.

“What..?” Dog collars? One was a teal and the other a red. He squinted at them, then back up at Taemin and Jonghyun. “I don't know what you guys are into...but…”

Jonghyun snorted. “No, oh my god.”

“They'd be too small, anyway.”

Minho reappeared in the living room, holding a much bigger box than the ring box. Much bigger. And, it barked. Twice.

Momentarily, the ring was forgotten as Minho came around and sat next to him on the couch. “Are you serious?” Kibum asked, his voice several pitches higher than normal as a tiny red poodle poke its head out of the top of the box, followed by an adorable black one. He took them both out, speechless as they started wriggling in their excitement.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Minho said, kissing his cheek before he took the black one out of his arms, so he could focus on the other. For the moment, the ring was forgotten, as they now had Comme Des and Garçons to worry about and take care of.

Their anniversary came and went without a proposal, as did Chuseok...and Halloween...when Christmas rolled around, Kibum was sure it would happen.

It didn't.

There was no change in Minho's behavior, and there hadn't been since Kibum discovered the ring. He acted as though the ring just...didn't exist.

Kibum kept glancing at his phone, checking the time as the seconds ticked by. Surely, he'd propose as the clock struck midnight...Minho loved to do romantic bullshit like that, because he knew Kibum would eat it up. But, there were two minutes to go and Minho was making no move. Whatsoever. He tapped Kibum's foot and Kibum tucked the foot Minho had been massaging under his thigh and set the other on Minho's lap so he could start on that one.

Maybe he already had the ring in his pocket? He watched him carefully, sighing when Minho’s eyebrows shot up with a smile. “Happy new year!” As he looked over at Kibum, his smile drooped. “Did I do something wrong?”

Huffing, Kibum got up and went into their room, being careful not to disturb the sleeping puppies as he grabbed the box from Minho's drawer. He went back to the couch, holding the ring box up. Minho's eyes widened as he sat down.

“Did you buy this just because you liked how it looks in your drawer?”

“What?” Minho scoffed. “No.” Kibum sighed, and Minho's expression softened. “When did you find it?”

“The day before my birthday.”

“Ah…”

“Were you ever planning on proposing, or..?”

“I mean,” his eyes dropped to the box in Kibum's hands before he met his eyes again. “I bought that a while ago, so it's been at the back of my mind for…”

“When?”

“Hm?”

“When did you buy it?”

“Sometime in 2017, I don't remember exactly.” Kibum deflated a little, and he looked at the ring box. So, before the split. And he kept it that whole time. “I didn't think you'd want to be engaged until we could legally get married. That's why I haven't proposed yet.” Kibum fixed him with a droll glare that made Minho laugh as he leaned forward, taking the box out of Kibum's hands. “I see now that I was wrong.”

He popped the box open, and Kibum instinctively looked down at the ring before he met Minho's eye again. “Kibum…”

“You don't have to if you're not ready, sweetheart, I'm so -- “

“Will you marry me?” he asked, his eyes smiling. “Will you live forever with me?”

Tears stung Kibum's eyes and he sniffed, blinking them away. “I don't know, this is so unexpected.” Minho's face scrunched up as he laughed, leaning into the couch, and Kibum couldn't help but grin. “Of course, I will.”

Minho scooted forward, slipping the ring on Kibum's finger. “I'm sorry I made you wait so long,” he said, leaning forward to kiss him.

Kibum laid back, pulling Minho with him as they relaxed into the couch, their kiss turning lazy as Kibum threaded his fingers thought Minho's hair, his thumb and forefinger lightly rubbing Minho's earlobe. “You know,” he said, turning his head with a sigh as Minho started to kiss him along his jaw. “You could make it up to me.”

Minho chuckled before he pressed a kiss just below his ear. “I'll do my best,” he whispered, his low voice sending a shiver down Kibum’s spine.

\- - - - -

It started off as a joke.

They were in the supermarket, shopping for groceries, when Kibum said, “You know, this would be a good place to get married.” Minho had snorted at the time, which made Kibum grin. “Because of the aisles.”

It was a shame they were in public, because Minho would have kissed him for making that stupid joke. Instead, he just laughed and grabbed their favorite wine from off the shelf. It became a running joke, then, whenever they went out to find the perfect place to get married.

Not that they could, or really even would, but it was a nice thought.

Within the week that followed their engagement, Kibum bought a ring for Minho, making it officially official, as he liked to say. It matched Kibum's ring, and he couldn't help but smile every time he looked at it. Like he was doing now.

“Thinking about your husband?” Jonghyun asked as he slid back into his seat across from Minho, passing him his coffee.

“We're not married, Jjong.”

“So?” Minho glanced up at him before he grabbed his coffee. “Fuck the government, honestly.” Minho almost spat his coffee out. “Who cares if you can't be legally married? You guys are more married than my parents are.”

“Yeah, because they're divorced.”

“Taemin's parents, then.” Minho nodded, conceding. “You could always have a ceremony, and then when you legally can do it…”

“Do you think he would go for that?” Jonghyun leveled him with a glare. “Okay, I know, stupid question...I just don't…” Jonghyun's eyebrows raised, and Minho sighed. “I don't want to fuck up again. Or disappoint him. I've…” he twisted the cup around on the table, avoiding Jonghyun's eyes. “I've hurt him so much already -- “

“Hey, look at me.” Jonghyun waited until he did. “If it had been up to you, you never would have left him, right?” Minho shook his head. “And you know he doesn't hold it against you at all?” He nodded. “I totally get why you're anxious about this, but I've never met anyone who rivals your love for each other.”

Minho cleared his throat as he gave Jonghyun a small smile. “Not including you and Taemin, I assume.”

Jonghyun waved his hand between them dismissively. “That goes without saying.”

“Of course.” Minho let out a deep breath before he took a long drink of his coffee. “What if…” Jonghyun perked up, an eyebrow raising in question. “...we surprised him?”

He held up his hand before Minho could say another word. “Leave it to me. I know the perfect place.”

“Oh?”

“What about this Tuesday?” Minho's brow furrowed for a second before he realized what day it would be. Their first anniversary -- May 25th. That would only give them four days to prepare.

“Can you do it by then?”

Jonghyun already had his phone out, checking his and Taemin's schedule, probably. “If you can get Kibum to Yeouido Park by like...seven -- “

“At night, I hope.”

“Twilight is the most romantic time of day. Anyway, yeah, seven...we'll make sure you find us.”

Minho laughed. “You're not even gonna let me in on it?”

Jonghyun gave him a smug smile as he sipped his coffee. “Absolutely not.”

“I assume you’ll want the same treatment when you finally propose to Taemin.”

“Obviously.”

The days until their surprise wedding dragged by, and Minho could barely contain his excitement. He was almost constantly distracted, which did not go unnoticed by his coworkers or Kibum himself, though his fiancé didn’t comment on it. No, he just gave him suspicious looks whenever Minho seemed too cheery or on edge.

On the day of, Jinki called him when he was out taking the kids -- Comme Des and Garcons -- for a run. Both he and Kibum had taken the day off to celebrate their anniversary, but he had left Kibum tucked in bed with a book and a kiss goodbye before he decided to go exercise for a little while. Anything to get rid of his pent-up energy.

“Seven, right? That’s when you’ll be there?”

“Like, at the park at seven? Or at the location by seven?”

“Uh…” he voice trailed off for a second. Probably checking his texts. “The location.”

“So…”

“Just take the first right at the fifth entrance and you’ll be able to find us. Taemin is setting up markers for you to follow.”

Minho stopped walking, tugging lightly on the leashes to get the puppies to stop walking for a minute. “I can’t believe you guys are doing this for us.”

“Of course, man. Anything for you two.” Garcons barked at another dog as it passed, Comme Des joining in. Minho shushed them. “Dress nice!” Jinki said as he hung up the phone. Minho pocketed his and finished his run.

“Honey, I’m home!” he called out as he stepped inside, smiling when he heard Kibum snort in the other room. He unclipped the puppies leashes and looked up to find Kibum emerging. “Hey, so I had a thought…”

“Wow, I’m so proud of you.”

“Shut up. What if I told you that I made a reservation at Ole tonight?” Kibum’s eye brightened, and Minho’s smile grew. “It’s for eight, but I was thinking we could walk around the park a little bit before that.”

“That sounds like a ploy to get me to exercise.” Minho laughed, hanging the leashes up on the hook in the coat closet. “I’ll do it, but I’m still on to you.”

“Are you, now…” Kibum inspected him, a small smile gracing his features before he nodded once. It’s a good thing Minho would never cheat because Kibum would catch him within minutes.

When it came time to leave, Minho stopped Kibum at the door, straightening the knot of his tie and kissing his cheek before they walked outside. His palms were sweaty, and he tried to resist the urge to wipe them off on the knees of his Givenchy suit. He knew...he knew he was anxious for no reason, but that didn’t stop him. Kibum seemed to sense his mood since he frequently glanced over to check on him as he drove.

They reached the park with five minutes to spare. Kibum linked his arm through Minho’s and set the pace, walking leisurely down the path through the forest. His eyes were on the sky, and he made a comment about how beautiful the sunset was going to be. As much as Minho wanted to look up and admire it for himself, he couldn’t. Instead, he scanned the bushes and trees and the tiny fences lining the path for any sort of marker that Taemin would have left.

He almost stopped walking when he saw it -- the teal ribbon tied around the branch of a tree. There was another one, just down the path, so Minho guided Kibum toward it and found another a few meters ahead of them.

Just ahead, strings of lights wrapped around the columns of the pavilion overlooking the pond flickered on. It captured both of their attention, Kibum leaning toward Minho to say, “That’s new.” As they drew near, a soft piano song started to play, that Minho soon recognized as Yiruma’s “It’s Your Day.” Minho bit back a smile, glancing over to see if Kibum realized that the shadowy figures in the pavilion were their friends.

When he did, he stopped in his tracks, his grip on Minho’s arm tightening. “What…”

“Come on, come on, hurry,” Jinki said, glancing both ways down the path. They picked up the pace, Taemin passing his phone to Jonghyun for a second -- was he filming this? -- so he could stick bunches of wildflowers in their lapels.

“Stand over here,” Jonghyun said, guiding Minho and Kibum under the pavilion, away from the path. Jinki stood at the far end, keeping watch to make sure they weren’t disturbed, and Taemin took his phone back from Jonghyun, staying at his boyfriend’s side so he could film.

“We’re gathered here tonight -- “ Jonghyun started to say.

Kibum laughed silently, latching onto Minho’s shoulder for support. “Is this what you were planning?” Minho just smiled and reached out to straighten Kibum’s flowers.

“ -- and it may not be official, but when has that ever fucking stopped us before.”

“Jjong, honestly,” Jinki murmured behind them, and Taemin started to laugh.”

“Choi Minho.” Jonghyun looked up from the script on his phone at him. “You are becoming the husband of Kim Kibum. Do you promise to love Kibum, to respect him, take care of him, in joyful and in hard times, in healthy times and in sick times, every day, forever?”

Minho swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yes, I promise.”

The piano music stopped playing, and Jinki quickly fished his phone out of his pocket, starting it again.

“Kim Kibum.” Minho looked over at him, smiling as he brushed away Kibum’s tears with his thumb. Kibum took his hand then, squeezing it tightly. “You are becoming the husband of Choi Minho. Do you promise to love Minho, to respect him, take care of him, in joyful and in hard times, in healthy and in sick times, every day, forever?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“Perfect.” Kibum let out a watery chuckle, and Minho stepped a little closer to him, his cheeks starting to hurt from smiling. “Then, by the power vested in me by absolutely nobody, I pronounce you husband and husband.” He gestured between them, tears welling up in his own eyes. “You can kiss each other now.”

“I can’t believe you did this,” Kibum whispered as Minho pulled him into his arms, and he smiled as Kibum wrapped his arms around him, kissing him tenderly. He broke the kiss faster than Minho was expecting, though it could have been because of their small audience, but he didn’t move away. Instead, his arms tightened around him, rubbing Minho’s back.

Minho closed his eyes with a smile, leaning into the embrace. “I love you...so much,” he said, turning his head to kiss Kibum’s cheek. Kibum hummed contentedly, and Minho sighed. He didn’t think he would ever or could ever be this happy in his life.

And yet, he knew this was only the beginning of happier years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this is officially the end now and yes they lived happily ever after because of course they did


End file.
